it’s about time

Time was I would write in here regularly, various things feeling important to go on about. In more recent times I find myself deflected from this particular task. It’s a curious thing, really, because I mean to, but I blink, and time goes by, and here I am, the 20th of January, and I haven’t written anything for months.

It’s not like I haven’t been doing things, they’ve just been more private. For instance, in the last year I’ve traveled: to North Carolina, to the tiny village of Castelnau de Montmiral in France, to Ottawa, to Victoria and to Salt Spring Island (not necessarily in that order).

CastelnaudeMontmiral

Castelnau-de-Montmiral, one of Les Plus Beaux Villages de France, has been around about 800 years, which is a lot of years in buildings-still-standing terms, but not much against the cosmos.

In the past year I also became a grandmother, effortlessly for me, though it has increased my awareness of the passage of time. I see myself as an echo of grandmothers past, remember my own grandmother visiting, helping out my mother, then my mother helping me out, and now I’ve had the great gift of time to help out my daughter.

Those other grandmothers are gone now, that’s also something I’m aware of. Time runs out, and it moves faster as you get older. My theory is it has something to do with percentages. A year to a five-year-old is one fifth her life. To me it’s one sixtieth. Whoosh.

This evening I went to see a movie, The End of Time. This was no apocalyptic Hollywood story, but a documentary, sort of. It puts things in perspective, somewhat the way that looking down from a great height shrinks the daily concerns down to an iota.

It’s more a meditation on time, on physics and engineering, and the stars, and lava rolling down a mountainside, and weather. It’s about the link between space, time and matter, which is way beyond my understanding. I can’t give you a linear path through this movie, but I can say that I had the oddest sensation of being in the right now, focused on the images, with no great need to apply a beginning, middle or end to the story, which is just as well, because it wasn’t a story in the sense I’m used to; it just started, and after some time had passed, it was over.

What it was, was beautiful. It also made my head hurt a bit, the size of some of the concepts. Think particle accelerator in Switzerland, a project built, so that we’ll know. We’re tiny, but we want to know. It’s quite wonderful. Think too that the stars we see unaided can be up to two million light years away, with telescopes into the billions of light years, meaning the light we see is a glimpse into an unimaginably far away past.

I hope this movie will stay with me for some time, in person-years, that is.

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